P Finishes Wheel of Time (Part 3)

A Memory of Light by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson is the 14th novel out of 14 in the Wheel of Time series. My drunk ass read all of em. aintnobodygottime for 14 reviews, so I chunked them; find the first WOT review here, and the second WOT review here, if you want the whole thang.

NOTE: if this post makes less sense than usual, its bc I’m writing from the lawn at Firefly music festival between bouts of having my fuggin brains blown out through myeardrums. It’s far more exquisite than it sounds.

How do you imagine the end of the world would be? Smarter men than I have asked and written about that question. Wheel of Time lives in that question. In their world of mysticism and wonder, Sanderson and Jordan have challenged us to wonder who we'd be in those moments. Would you sprint at death smiling, gambling the weight of humanity with every die cast? Would you dare love? Courage the cowardly dog did, and it fucked him all up too.

I was so glad and so sad to reach the end of this tome. Sam tells me it was a few million words, thousands of POVs. I powered through all 14 in like 6 MONTHS and I regret nothing. I read while driving, I read on dates, I read a work; not because I had to finish but we I could not stop learning about the kaliedescope of characters that were brillaintlywove into the pattern.

Specifically about 'A Memory of Light'. I was so blown away the chessmatches, the comedy, the pace made my mad dash reading the stuff feel like it was part of the narrative. We fly from one battle front from another to see heroes made of the characters we’ve met over the course of the books. We get hearts ripped out and our souls buoyed by the bravery of simple men. Also a LOT of trollocs get blown tf up. At the end there’s a battle and somebody wins but I wont tell you howwwww muahahahaha

SPOILAHZ

Rand wins.

Lol I mean come on we all knew it was coming. That wasn’t what was important to me though, as much as I had t osee what happened. I loved the weaving that got us there, that brought Perrin and Rhuarc in the wolf dream to fight the demon dogs or whatever. I loved Mat showing up just in time to kill Padan Fain who for some reason showed back up in the last like 30 pages. I loved Olver, all alone in the blasted lands, harried by trollocs, ducking and dodging blowing the Horn to recall the heroes. I loved Egwene. I loved her for her brilliance and her bravery and her sacrifice killing the dickbag Mazrim Taim who has for sooooloonnggg needed a good stabbing. Did I weep? Bitch no, YOU WEPT, I was just, you know, washing my face, in vertical lines from my tear ducts.

I loved that Rand gets a chance to decide at the end of the story, that he gets a chance to be who he wants to be instead of who he was forced to be by the fucking, like, universe’s battle with itself. As he wanders into the distance I have no choice but to 1. Plot the Min/Aviendha lesbian fanfic I’ve been dreaming of since they first bonded over a bottle of oosoqoi or whatever and 2. Wonder at how far he came in the like 2 years since trollocs first ran up on him in the Two Rivers. Jesus what a yarn this was.
End Spoilahz

Favorite books (as far as I can remember)

• 14
• 12
• 1
• 6-7
• Fight me.

Pairing: green dragon. It sits in your closet for months and when ya open it & drink, it takes you to another world. And fucks you up in it. All the way up.

19/10 shots; would recommend to anyone who wants to be challenged by language and a subtle plot and has the time to read exquisite character development

PS. Also, if you haven't signed up for #Booziebookathon 2017 on July 22, see our announcement post here.

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Their Fractured Light by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner

Their Fractured Light by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner

What I drank prior:
A whole bottle of wine... by myself... on a Friday night... in about an hour.

Spoiler-free Overview:
This is the conclusion to the Starbound trilogy/companion books/whatever they are. I can't go into too much here because spoilers but there is a new couple in this one with new POVs and they're still tryna defeat the Big Bad Whispers.

Spoiler-free Thoughts:
I really and honestly don't know why these books slipped through the filter. I usually hate this kind of stuff but oh em gee these books are a cheese fest and I am TRASH FOR THEM. We know how this works now right? The finale did not disappoint.

Characters:
New characters (Gideon and Sofia) for kissy parts and angst and lovey dovey stuff and it's so good. Back stories work, relationship is flawed but works, etc. ALSO I get my precious children from the other two books back. Yesssss.

Plot:
Very well done. Didn't see some of it coming. Loved it.


Spoilers:

SUCKS TO BE DADDY. Like look, I really do not blame Rogue Whisper at all. What a great way to show how one can be corrupted over time. What a better way to show that the individual does not always represent the whole.

What to pair it with: piña colada. On the beach. With a sexy person next to you. You know... for the kissy parts.

Rating: 5/5 Shots.

COMMENT DOWN BELOW: What's your guilty pleasure? Do you enjoy trashy YA romances in space?

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,
Sam

PS. Also, if you haven't signed up for #Booziebookathon 2017 on July 22, see our announcement post here.

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Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

I'd like to thank Netgalley for the chance to review this book early in exchange for an honest review.

What I drank prior: I went to my kickball game and played 3 hours of beer pong. No idea the number of beers but I am drunk.

Spoiler free overview: 
So this thief kid hears about the competition to be one of four of Our Queen's assassin. Thing about the thief kid (Sal) is that they are gender fluid and a citizen of the nation murdered in the war. Anyway. They join this competition and everything goes from there.

Spoiler free thoughts: 
This story is so well done. It's often that I read an assassin story that's all "I don't *want* to be an assassin but I gotta for reason xyz" but this story isn't that. Sal just wants to get out of being a thief and is all about serving Our Queen. I looooved this.

Plot: really though. My only con is that I felt like I could skim a bit of the text while only reading the dialogue. But I find that I catch myself doing that often. That's a Sam thing and not a book thing. The plot was super fast paced and intriguing through the whole bit. LOCED it.

Characters: Sal was so great. They explained the whole gender fluid bit really well. Specifically which pronoun to use when. Sometimes she was she and other times he was he but if you were ever confused it was they. ADDITIONALLY the other characters were fleshed out enough that I created a bond with them and was connected to them. There were so many but I felt the feels necessary. The villain was a goooood villain.

World bulldog (editor's note: woah I was drunk): very well done. Explaining the Shadows and what led to the destruction of Sal's people.

This book comes out on September 5th. You can get it here.

What to pair it with: a great craft beer

Rating: 5/5 shots for fucking sure.

COMMENT DOWN BELOW: What are some recommendations you have of books with gender fluid characters?

PS. Also, if you haven't signed up for #Booziebookathon 2017 on July 22, see our announcement post here.

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A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!

What I drank prior:
It's kickball playoffs. Yes I wrote three posts while I was on the train home. No you're not allowed to judge me for it.

Spoiler-free Overview:
Basically this curmudgeon wants to die cause his wife died 6 months ago. He is an old man set in his ways, taking his walks every morning making sure that no one stays in the 24 hour parking more than 24 hours, checking the signs are straight, etc. He's also obsessed with Saab (like my daddy). But this new coupe moves into town with their two annoying ass kids but HEY Ove just wants to join his wife.

Spoiler-free Thoughts:
Look. I didn't get why everyone loved this book until I read it. The minimalist style is one of the most unique things I've ever read but I adored it. Also. Mama read it for book club because she was gonna be in town for our meeting and she loved it too.

Characters:
How do I even? Okay so Ove was the best cranky old guy anyone could ever ask for. The family was awesome. It's just. I just loved it.

Plot:
So this was the best part. There were moments where he didn't explixently say what happened but the author allowed you to determine what happened on your own terms. I felt so gratified it that the author trusted me enough to fill in the blanks. Just hank you.
RaLly everyone should give this boo a chance. Even if you're not in to contemporary. It's just wonderful.

What to pair it with: vodka. The best kind.

Rating: 5/5 Shots.


COMMENT DOWN BELOW: Are you a fan of the minimalist style of writing? What are your favorite kinds?

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,
Sam

PS. Also, if you haven't signed up for #Booziebookathon 2017 on July 22, see our announcement post here.

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The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh

The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh

What I drank prior: I am on the train back from kickball. It was a big night. We won the first round of playoffs :)

Spoiler-free Overview:
This is a retwlling of a thousand and one nights. The king marries and kills a different chick every night. Our main character Shahrzad decides she wants to try her luck and marries him. She tells him a story and survives the first night. Everything kind of goes from there.

Spoiler-free Thoughts:
I completely thought that I was gonna think this was a cheese fest and hate it. I fucking adored this book. Read it during Dewey's 24hr readathon in a couple hours and these people are now my precious children and all of you can fight me about t.

Characters:
I LVOE THEM. Seriously all of them. They are very well developed. We know the motivations behind all of them. And we grow with them. I just love it.

Plot:
The pacing was good. I only know that because I real it in one sitting and I didn't even care. I was curious enough about what was going to happen next that reading it in one sitting was perfect.

Writing Style:
It's beautiful. The end.

Just fucking read it. I cannot wait for the final installment.

Pairing: a super fine red wine. Like the kind you spend more than $15 on.

Rating: 5/5 Shots. DUH

COMMENT DOWN BELOW: I know we're late to the party for this duology. What did you think? Also, what are your fave guilty pleasure books?

PS. Also, if you haven't signed up for #Booziebookathon 2017 on July 22, see our announcement post here.

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House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

What I drank prior:
Been deinkin by myself watching The Wire because I didn't want to leave my house. I am one bottle of Pinot Noir down.

Disclaimer: I'm writing on my phone so let's see how autocorrect does.


Spoiler-free Overview:
How do I even begin to describe this book? I think the main premise is this couple Navidson and Karen move to Virginia into this house with their two kids. Soon they notice that the fuckin house is bigger on the inside than the outside (LIKE THE TARDIS FINISH YOUR DRINK). Then a door shows up in the hallway that seems to be an endless space that has no business being in a house. Things go from there.

BUT THATS NOT ALL! Apparently, this story was 'a documentary' that my man Zampano, an old blind man in the 1990s got his hands on. He writes this analysis about the Navidson Record (the house story) complete with footnotes. Still with me? There's more.

Zampano dies at the beginning of the story (not a spoiler its in the fuggin intro). Whereby my little nugget Johnny finds the manuscript. And he's made his obsession completing the manuscript Z left unfinished. We get footnotes from him too, but they're more like anecdotes about his life. You get to learn about a story within a story within a story essentially.

TL;DR: it's fucking complicated.


Spoiler-free Thoughts:
This book fucked me up. On Goodreads, one of the questions asked "how do you read this book?" Which is totally legit, do you read the manuscript and he footnotes together? Or each individually? The answer (summed up) was "at home with the lights on and your big scary dog on the bed with you." Sums it up nicely.

Fucked. Me. Up

Side note: This books is so complicated you can only get it I. Paperback. Not eBook, not mass market papwrback, not audio, the fuckin giant paperbacks.

Characters:
Uh... how do I talk about this? So the folks in the house were great. Very well developed, and Jesus, went through more than I ever would tolerate. Zampano was neat but what I loved more what's how much Johnny glorified him over time. Johnny... my precious precious Johnny. My heart goes out to you.


Plot:
I still have nightmares and think about it all the fucking time. There's a cult following for this book apparently...


Writing Style:
So like Illuminae, this story is written in such a unique format. Takes some getting used to but once you figure it out it's not that difficult. I would recommend you dedicate your full attention to it, no commutes or with the tv on.


Rating: 5/5 fucking flaming shots.



What to pair it with: Whatever fucking trips you out. For me? It's Gin, I get weird when I drink gin...

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Zombie Bigfoot by Nick Sullivan

Zombie Bigfoot by Nick Sullivan



What I drank prior:
8 beers? Idk I lost count its Doctor night and there were a bunch of sonic screwdrivers.


Spoiler-free Overview:
Okay, so this takes place in the woods somewhere in the middle of nowhere where there's a lot of Big Foot lore. There's a group of researchers and their mission is to find Big Foot. Next POV is an actual Big Foot. I know... hang on a second. Big Foot kid sees some crazy shit and his Alpha ends up getting bit by some crazy blood-lusting human. See where I'm going here? Alpha starts turning into a Zombie... scares the shot out of the pack. Things go from there, basically humans and Big Feet(?) have to work together to not get Zombie-fied and shit goes down.


Spoiler-free Thoughts:
Let me start by saying I'm not a huge zombie fan but this book was hysterical. Very clearly satire and it was...interesting.


Characters:
The main characters were pretty good and well developed. There are multiple POVs to include randomly selected and introduced zombie fodder.


Plot:
I think it was pretty predictable but it was meant to be.

Anyway, I found it to be a quick read with some point where I am literally LOLing. Eye rolling will be inevitable, and ya know. Zombie and Sasquatch... what could be better?



Rating:
3/5 Shots. But only if you can see how it was meant to be read. Otherwise ya know...

What to pair it with: beer. The only thing you can THINK to drink while sitting around a camp fire listening to a Sasquatch-goes-zombie story.

I remain forever drunkenly yours,
Sam

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